What you are describing are exactly the symptoms of a panic or anxiety attack due to PTSD. I suffered from abuse and went through EVERY treatment possible. I still take medication for my panic and PTSD because I can still become “overwhelmed” but I have finally come to realize that what happened was NOT my fault but that it is MY responsibility to take control of my body and to try my hardest to “realease” these feelings. As hard as it is to “forgive”, until you either “forgive”, “forget” or find a place in your heart and mind to let these feelings go to rest they will control your life. YOU need to control them. Once you learn to control them, and you cannot do it alone, it takes medication, therapy and the support of loved ones and freinds to do it, but YOU are the one who has to start the train going down the track in the right direction. I never thought I could “overcome” what had happened to me, but through the grace of God and MY WILLINGNESS to cooperate 100% and medication and therapy I now live a very good life. I have relapses, and still have panic attacks, but I now know how to deal with it. You have to take account for your disease as if it were no different that being given diabetes or heart disease, you MUST take care of yourself. When I was finally getting treatment and healing I got Cancer…not once but I’ve had it 3 times. I still face life with a positive attitude and do NOT feel sorry for myself. I am not a holier than thou person but I do know that God would NEVER put more on me than I could ever carry. Start by reading up on your diagnoses and helping yourself. When you need help, reach out. Take your medication faithfully and if you therapist doesn’t help you get one that will. Find people that WILL support you and that understand your disease. There are support groups for anxiety, bi-polar and sexual abuse. But you need to find some peace within your heart and soul and start to heal. You are about to go through surgery and need the peace in your heart to heal. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love & Peace